I'm not a writer

I am alive. Blood type A positive. Half Japanese. Half...something else.
I am a thinker. An engineer. Good at physics. Better at math.
I am easily addicted. Sometimes lonely. Sometimes influenced by that. Choice A.
I am delighted by your happiness. Confused with my own. Guided by a simple philosophy.
I am ambitious. Trustworthy. Adaptable. Honest when it counts.
I am forgetful. A door with a hinge. Sometimes open. Sometimes closed.
I am seeking the answers. Going to find them. Impervious to imperishable impediments.

However, one thing I am not is a writer. So, I think I'll stick to what I'm good at.

はじまりましょう

The air smells of nature
    And the bugs won't leave me be.
A nearby cricket rolls onto its back
    And chirps for the very last time.

Curious is the nature of thoughts,
    For they never rest.
Without sleep, lacking dreams,
    Few say curse, many say gift;
However, a gift you may return.

Do they bug you as well?
Definite yet expanding space, curving time
--- the cricket flips back ---
Destructing life or resurrecting death
Sorrow in love, fear in purpose,
Flickering light, soul of darkness,
Peace in hell, war in heaven,
Fate's mind, destiny's heart
Past, choice, present, freewill,
Future, existance;
Thought.

Hands swinging at perfect frequency
    And I'm back to nature.
The perfect geometry of the moon
    Reminds me I'm not alone.
The air smells of nature
    And the bugs won't leave me be.

Wooly Willy

Here I walk, alone, my path lighted only by
    The moonlight betrayed by my fingertips;
    And I am alive.

The moon is my escort; the wind, my keeper.
Here lies the quintessence of peace,
    Chimeric beasts held at bay
    And thoughts crystallize with resonance.

Heaven? A heaven on earth is no more a heaven
    then hell---
Blank smiles, synchronized heartbeats,
    And eyes that tremble with the earth.
I may breathe the air you breathe,
    Smell the same never fading aroma,
    Endure twin pains you struggle to fight,

But I am not with you
    You certainly not with me;
A magnet pulling at dark filaments inside
Painting silhouettes upon my person
    like an adolescent toy.

As I darken like the night above me,
The kings continue to shake the earth
And I, even among the endless crowd,
    Am still alone---
No, not heaven nor hell,
    Just wind and light,
    Crystals with perfect resonance.

Here I walk alone, my path lighted only by
    The moonlight betrayed by my fingertips;
    And I am alive.

The Chosen King of Pain [puzzle]

The light at the end of your tunnel is closing,
Did it happen overnight
    or a little at a time?
I know it's hard in a world so cold.

So we look back and never forward;
Someone set the spark,
    and then it no longer mattered.

Kiss all the hurting of this world away
And touch the rainbow in the sky..
Who will take your pain if we are one?

I would try to shield your innocence from time but
My words just break and melt.

You are the never ending sleep,
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know.

I looked at her and she smiled twice;
I've seen your image in a million waking dreams.
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign.

When water turns to solid
My blood froze forever.
Life without death,
    world without end,
    sleep without dreams.

Come with me to the sea of the moon
And come dancing in the rain with me.

Without Another

Time
Seamlessly runs
Straight or skewed,
Tiled stone alley
Or aimless dirt path.

Memories
Never fade
From right to left,
From innocence
    and tranquility
To anguish
    and conscience.

One
Without another
Heart, no mind
    Jubilant
    Yet empty stride.
Mind, no heart
    Memories
    That never fade.

Actions
Pave the road
Up and down,
Predictions uncertain
With hollow footprints
    Left in the wet concrete.

Waking Within A Dream [puzzle]

I thought I might die alone,
We could keep things just the same.
Could this all just be a dream,
Our lives in this concrete cage?
In your eyes your sorrow shows.

Who knows how long I've loved you,
Your eyes will hold the memory.
It's the mind against the heart
So it's fine if you can't define
The enemy that lives within.

Here in your arms, where the world
Turn all your tears to laughter,
I won't stop for the beggars;
It's the last that I'll see of you.

I'm fractured from the fall and
I'm numb to life anymore.
One thing I can tell you is
Things couldn't turn out worse
If it's our destiny.

I said, 'All beauty must die'
Above the lies and truth;
We sink as we hang our heads.

You know the way to keep me
But memory in silence only fades;
So open up your mind's eye
You were made to rise above
What you sealed inside my heart.

Though I was a failure with
Out any pride, just wave me off;
I feel the same, I feel nothing.

I need a better way of life, for
Beyond here and on to eternity -
Why, I'm swimming against the tide.
Now there's a light that shines for me.